Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Dive into a Hershey Kiss

A Hershey Kiss is a delicious, mouth watering, bite sized piece of chocolate. As you slowly open your Hershey Kiss, you hear the gentle crinkling of the delicate aluminum. Once it is open, you inhale that sweet chocolaty smell, that is so hard to resist. After you open and eat your Hershey Kiss, your stomach will rumble like a 5.0 earthquake in California, wanting more. After you devour your Hershey Kiss, all you are left with is a smile from ear to ear.
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1 comment:

  1. SheilaSeptember 9, 2011 at 12:44 PM

    Love your title and your opening and closing sentences. I like that you used a 'you' focus and the 5.0 earthquake simile.
    Good grasp of grammar and mechanics. You just need to put the verb devoured into the present tense like the rest of it. Nice strong verbs but they could be stronger.....open and eat could be more specific.
    :) SBS

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